Random Rusty!
by Slipfoot
Summary: This story takes place when Firestar is still an apprentice. Rated for crazy language.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Firepaw was sitting in front of the apprentice den. He had just come back from hunting with Graypaw, Ravenpaw, Lionheart and Tigerclaw. Tigerclaw had been picking on him as usual.

Firepaw was a whisker away from catching a big, fat, juicy mouse and than Tigerclaw jumped out at him and said it was time to come back to camp!

Firepaw shrugged it off his shoulders and wondered over to the fresh kill pile. He picked out a skinny, dry mouse and took it back to where he was sitting.

"Hey Kittypet!" mewed a voice from behind him. Firepaw rolled his eyes. Dustpaw!

_Oh great!_ He thought grimly. _Just what I need! Someone to come make my day worse._

"Hey Kittypet!" meowed Dustpaw. "Why don't you go back from where you came from?" Firepaw bit his tongue.

_No!_ he thought._ I'm in enough trouble as it is!_

"Back…" Dustpaw started.

No don't do it… 

"To…"

You can't… 

"The TWOLEGS!"

_Too late!_

Firepaw jabbed his claw into his mouse. Dustpaw wasn't even funny and yet he was laughing his head off. Firepaw lifted his paw slowly. In one quick movement he flung the mouse at Dustpaw.

Dustpaw yelped in surprise and ducked from the flying mouse. It went over top of Dustpelt and (just Firepaw's luck) hit Tigerclaw square in the face.

Tigerclaw growled as the mouse fell and hit the ground. Dustpaw turned wide eyed and than to an evil sneer.

"Ooooo…" he cooed. "Someone's in trouble!"

Tigerclaw was staring at Firepaw and without another word he flung the mouse towards Firepaw. Firepaw looked surprised and dodged the mouse.

It just so happened that Graypaw was wondering out of the apprentice den when the mouse went flying over Firepaw's head.

"Hey Firepaw Ah…" it hit him in the face. Tigerclaw turned away and snorted a laugh.

Graypaw was mad and flung the mouse up randomly into the air. It went across the camp and hit Lionheart in the side. He looked down at the mouse and than up where it came from. Ten more mice were thrown by Tigerclaw and hit Lionheart in the muzzle.

His lip drew back into a snarl.

"Who… Through… those!" he yowled through bared teeth. Tigerclaw stopped laughing and through one last mouse. But Lionheart was prepared he grabbed the mouse in the air and trying throwing it back towards Tigerclaw.

As he did so, Lionheart slipped and the mouse went flying towards the High Rock. It bounced off of some cats belly and towards Bluestar's den.

Bad luck. Bluestar was walking out of the den when the mouse rocketed into her blue face.


	2. Chapter 2

Random Rusty

Chapter 2

"Who…threw…that…" she growled through gritted teeth. All of ThunderClan merely stared at her, looking stupid. Slowly, Bluestar picked up the mouse. Anger blazed in her blue eyes. She raised the paw that had the mouse in it and…

"FOOD FIGHT!"

The camp was in chaos. Fresh-kill was splattering everywhere. Then Tigerclaw yowled, "SILENCE!" All the cats stopped. Frostfur absently threw a mouse at him. When he was about to speak, the mouse flew right into his open mouth and down his throat.

Silence.

"Perform Heimlich Maneuver!" yowled Lionheart. He went over and gave Tigerclaw a hug.

"That's not the Heimlich Maneuver…" mewed Bluestar. "THIS IS IT!" She smacked Tigerclaw on the back of the head. He fainted. Bluestar stared at him. "Oh, dear."

All day, they stressed how to save Tigerclaw.

"Checklist," mewed Firepaw.

Graypaw rolled out a list.

"Dropped boulder," meowed Firepaw.

"Check."

"Squished with flyswatter."

"Check."

"Threw him off the gorge."

"Check."

"Shot him."

"Check."

"Shot him twice."

"Check."

"Flushed him down the toilet."

"Check."

"Used a plunger to get him out of the toilet."

"Check."

"Played cards with Crookedstar."

"Was that even on the list?"

Firepaw rolled his eyes. "But we _did _play Go Fish, don't forget."

"Yeah. Crookedstar's a terrible loser."

Firepaw looked deep in thought. Then he leaped into the air.

"That's it!"

"What?" asked Graypaw.

"I know how to get the mouse out! Graypaw, get your steak knife."

The Clan crowded around Tigerclaw and Firepaw. Firepaw took the steak knife and inserted the tip into Tigerclaw's scruff.

"Now, you just gently avoid the doohickey, make your way around the thingimajigger, and…oops, I don't think I was supposed to cut that…Oh, whatever…" Firepaw shoved his paw down Tigerclaw's gullet and retrieved the mouse. He smiled triumphantly. The wound he created in Tigerclaw's neck magically healed up. He leaped to his paws. Every cat grabbed a mouse at the same time.

"Nobody move," he panted. "I…shall…" He ran into the forest and came back with a bazooka.

"Ooh," mewed the Clan.

"Is that thing legal?" asked Ravenpaw.

"No. But it's shiny."


End file.
